It's a restless night. And once again, I'll be discussing women. I hope you enjoy rants. I'm going to watch the sun rise today. I try to watch the sun rise at least once a week. It puts my life in perspective. I am just one man, here in the world. And no matter how bad my heart aches some days, time keeps trucking. The sun still comes up every day, not matter how dark the night seemed. If I get any more cliche and corny, I might just die x.x;

Ah, first a bit... I worked tonight, of course. I do every night, pretty much. It was a bad night, too. I got kinda behind at the start, and a new policy makes it a real pain to clean, as we have more limited supplies. I had just finished doing the floors, and literally had JUST down the wetvac. I turned, and saw Ruth and Sara Sheffer (two friends of mine from church) standing in line. I smiled like an idiot, then, like I generally do.

They were in the area and had stopped to see me. Sara's like a sister to me, but I can't say we're as close as I'd like to be. And there's something about Ruth... She's just the sort of girl who has a smile that lifts my spirits even on the darkest of days... She's like a ninja...with feelings.

That's enough of playing with emotes.

Anywho, that really brightened my night, just to see that people remember I exist and all that jazz.


I find it both strange, and flatting, that women still find me attractive. In high school, okay, you're limited to a small group of people you knew; you were stuck in a group that knew your reputation and persecuted (or celebrated) you for it.

But why now? I utter a few flirty words in passing to a stranger and suddenly they're defiantly interested in me, want to know my life's story. I gently probe a convenience store employee about where they went to school and after a brief chat they're asking if I've got a girlfriend and they're jotting down a phone number on the back of my receipt.

It's a real pity, because the sort of woman that I enjoy...isn't like that. You know, I'm very lonely, really. But I'm actually quite irritated with women who throw themselves at me. Most guys have been telling me 'You're just sad there's no chase'. No. Wrong. El-wrong-o. I'm sad because the sort of woman I want will never throw herself at a man. I genuinely do not want the girl who is so needy that any passing stranger makes her bat her eyes and form a relationship. I don't want sexed up. I know it's hard to believe that a man would turn down sex, but frankly I'm tired of these skeeby girls hurling their bodies at me.

Put your boobs away, ladies. It doesn't make us attracted to you. And if you think it does, then you're probably after the wrong sort of guy as it is. The world is devoid of chivalry. Didyou know that? Every passing guy who isn't a complete douche bag makes a woman do a double take. Gents, I'm serious now. Be kind and watch how far it goes. You should bea gentleman, really you should. It means a lot in this day and age. And I respect gentlemen far more than assholes. I assure you.

Why do we so stress physical appearance in our society? How many of you, ladies, in all seriousness, find a boy staring at your chest when he speaks to you? Men, how many times have you found a woman lingering on your lips? Watched them look at your behind? (as I write this, I fear I may be the only one this observant...)

Clearly I'm a bit on the side of rant again. Pity, really. *rubs face* I'm getting tired and it's not even 3 AM yet.


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I'm crushing on a girl, Deviantart. I think it might be foolish. I don't think she's had any pang for me at all. Hasn't even really found me to be a friend, I'll bet. *scratches chin* It's not something I'm actively pursuing. It's just weird to mesh well with someone you had no interest in before.

I am still dumbfounded by most women. The lack of self-esteem or the need for male attention. I'm sorry the world has been telling you you're nothing special. I don't need to look at you or see you naked, or even hear your voice before I can tell you that you're more than amazing. There's never been anyone, man, woman, or child, that's not special and 100% worth it. I'm sick of our society and the lies that we tell them. If you aren't 5'6, 110 pounds and a C cup, you're ugly as shit.

And if you're a man, you've gotta be six foot and beyond muscular. *looks down* Well, I haven't a six pack! I must be ugly. Pity, really.

And where has all this Christian persecution come from all of the sudden? Seriously, I'm sorry for jumping topics, but hell I'm on a good rant here...

If I see one more link on every website I check on a daily basis that sends me to a 'why Christianity is wrong' or 'Why Jesus wasn't of divine blood' I shall scream. I don't care what you think. You don't have to agree. Do you have to openly persecute another person's religion? I'm a Christian, though I'm bad at portraying it outwardly. But if I meet a Buddhist am I really going to say 'Hey, did you know Buddha was just a man who lived his life by a bad example?' No.

I'll be tolerant. I won't start a smear campaign on the internet to make other people, who are uneducated about the religion, question it's origin or basis. I've heard people tell me that the Catholic church supports molesting children because it okays it in the Bible. And they said it with a straight face, honestly believing it. Silly society.

And if you're still reading at this point, you might as well comment because it means you're SERIOUSLY devoted to me. If you skimmers comment, I swear to it all I'll strike you down with a fierceness you've never known.

I'm working on Gideon. It's getting slowly longer, I find it hard to write unless it's late at night and because I normally go to bed to get up at noon and talk to my friends, I don't get to write much.

Uhm. The last two Saturdays after work, I've gotten into fights. It's not something I want to talk about unless you desperately want to know (in which case, ask me in a private venue). I'm sort of curious if it will happen again. *taps chin* It doesn't REALLY matter, I suppose.



I still feel like I want to be someone's white knight. And I think that...when I finally meet the woman that I'm meant to marry, the woman I will fall madly in love with... It won't matter. She'll love me the way that I am, flaws and all (or at least she'll tolerate me :-P) and I think that everything will be perfect (for the first few minutes.). To my wife, wherever you are... lots of love. And sorry for never putting the seat down. X_x It's a problem I'm working on.

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"You need to go get laid." Shaun declared, rather crudely. Both Shaun and Ben both spoke with strong English accents.
"What?" Ben asked, dumbfounded. Shaun was never good with advice.
"You don't stop thinking about her. Okay, before I walked in the room and before we started talking about it, when was the last time you'd thought about her." Ben paused to think, letting his mind drift.
"About fifteen seconds before you knocked." Shaun rolled his eyes and started tossing a ball into the air, catching it with his left hand.
"Fifteen seconds? What were you thinking about?"

Ben glanced across the room to where the sun had been creeping across the floor. Suddenly, he was hurled into a memory from several weeks ago. He lay in bed, next to his sleeping beauty. She was nude, her particularly personal parts covered by a light blanket. Ben Willis sat very erect next to her as she slept, running his hand through a bit of her hair.
It was Early morning and the sun had risen. The sun was creeping towards him, through a window across the room. It landed on his darling's thigh, creeping upward, towards her personal parts. It wasn't this that captivated him. He just stared at the thing sliver of light, and the dust particles that swarmed in it.

"Well?" He was torn from this memory, that precious memory. He continued to stare at the sunbeam across the room. It had moved the distance of half a wooden plank while he'd been lost in a dream.
"The dust," he said finally. He let out a slight sigh, and looked at his friend with his intensely piercing eyes.
"The dust," Shaun questioned in disbelief. He stared at his friend with a puzzled look. "God you're weird."

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Sigh.
It's a long one, I know. Sorry for the rambles, all.
One more emoticon for the road? Okay.